


working title: best years of our fantasy lives

by sourcheeks



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-27
Updated: 2017-10-27
Packaged: 2019-01-09 11:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12275226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sourcheeks/pseuds/sourcheeks





	1. Chapter 1

Taako was used to being the new kid. It didn’t bother him. He had Lup, after all, so it wasn’t like he was ever really alone. The boarding school in Neverwinter offered him and Lup a chance they’d never really had before - a chance to finish out a whole school year without being bounced between houses, if not between districts.

He was late getting to his dorm, because he might have needed to duck into a bathroom to have a semi-private freakout about being separated from his sister. It was stupid. He knew that. Still, Lup was practically his fucking security blanket at this point. Taako gave himself a few minutes to cry, then cleaned up his makeup in the bathroom mirror and chastised himself for acting like a big baby. He was entirely too old for this nonsense.

Despite his eyes being a little red, and his voice being a little rough, Taako was more or less himself by the time he pushed open the door to his new dorm room.

It wasn’t the worst room he’d ever seen. The walls were the same drab, institutional grey as the rest of the school, but they were covered in posters and pictures, offsetting how objectively sad they were. There were four desks, one of which was covered in books and papers, one in potted plants and a Bible, and, strangely, two totally clear. There were two bunk beds, and three were obviously occupied, but the fourth, the lower bunk directly beside the door was still done up with school issue covers. Which, like, totally fine with him, he did not need to fuck with heights while he was trying to meditate. In the bunk above his, a human boy read a book as thick as his head, flashing Taako a little smile and wave when he entered. “Hey, guys, he’d here,” the human announced, startling their other two roommates, another, much burlier, human boy and a chubby dwarf. They’d been play wrestling - Taako hoped it was play wrestling - but the human abruptly dropped the dwarf when he saw Taako. The dwarf seemed unperturbed by this, wriggling onto his back so he could sit up and look at their new addition.

“Sup?” Taako gave a little tilt of his pointed hat. A matching uniform hat, blue with a white band, sat on the reading kid’s bed, but there was no indication of the other two being wizards. “Taako Taaco. A pleasure, I’m sure.”

“Your name is Taako Taako?” the dwarf blurted, and the boy sat in his bunk sighed.

“Merle, _please_ , we _just_ met him.” He unfolded his long legs, hopping down from his bunk and standing in front of Taako. “Hello, sir. My name is Angus McDonald, I’m one of your new roommates.”

“No need to call me sir, pumpkin.” Taako shook his proffered hand. “I’m assuming he’s Merle.” Taako pointed at the dwarf, who was still on the ground like a doofus. “Who’s the meathead?”

Said meathead seemed to take no offense to the statement, clapping a huge hand on Taako’s shoulder. “I’m Magnus! It’s super cool to meet you. What are you studying?”

“Transmutation magic.” Taako put his Bag of Holding on the unoccupied bed because he wasn’t sure what desk was his. If he were to wager a guess, the empty third desk probably belonged to Magnus. Not that he was trying to stereotype, but seriously, look at the guy. “I’m here with my sister. She’s an evocation specialist.”

“Oh! She must be the girl rooming with Carey and Killian and Lucretia.” Magnus looked very pleased about this. Friends of his, Taako assumed. “That’s pretty cool, I knew we were getting two new students today, but I didn’t know you guys were related.”

Merle rolled his eyes. “Come _on_ , Magnus, you don’t exactly have to be Caleb Cleveland over there to figure that out.” He jabbed a thumb towards Angus, who blushed at the nickname.

“Leave Magnus alone, Merle, you know he takes a minute.”

“Yeah, Merle.” Magnus stuck his tongue out, and wow, Taako was rooming with children. “I’m a fighter,” Magnus informed Taako proudly.

“Shocking,” Taako replied dryly. “I never would have guessed.”

“You know, you don’t have to be rude.”

Taako completely ignored that request, flicking his wrist towards Angus. “What about you, Nerdlord?”

“I’m studying the arcane sciences,” Angus replied, face lighting up, and _ugh._ “And Merle is a cleric of Pan.”

That explained all the plants, and the Bible, which upon closer inspection Taako saw was, in fact, a livid green ‘X-Treme Teen Bible’ emblazoned with the symbol of Pan. Oh well. It could be worse. If he had to room with a cleric, at least he was a cleric of a chill god like Pan.

“Looks like you’re outnumbered, then, Magnus, huh?” He eyed the fighter with an amused grin.

“I don’t mind. Magic is really cool!” Magnus flashed him a dopey, lopsided grin, and, seriously, _ugh._

“Dork,” Merle said, and elbowed Magnus, and Taako was glad he didn’t have to immediately get himself on Magnus’s bad side by doing it himself.

“I hope you’ll fit in well here.” Angus smiled at Taako. “And if you have any problems, any of the three of us would be glad to help you out.”

“Thanks, I guess. Taako busied himself with unpacking so he wouldn’t have to talk to his roommates anymore.

Maybe, hopefully, this wouldn’t be so bad.


	2. Chapter 2

“So, who did you end up with?” Lup sat with Taako in the middle of the quad, legs tucked up under herself as she surveyed the students. 

“Two humans and a dwarf, nerdy wizard, stupid fighter, and even stupider cleric, respectively.” Taako rolled his eyes. “Any better luck?”

“Dragonborn rogue, half-orc fighter, and another human wizard.” Lup laughed at Taako’s obvious frustration. “ _ My _ roommates are cool.”

“I hate you.” Taako pouted, slouching down and pushing a hand back through his hair. He’d taken off his dorky school-issue hat, and was currently looking it over to try to figure out how to make it less abjectly ugly. “I guess my roommates aren’t  _ that _ bad. They don’t suck, I guess. Cleric man is a little crunchy, even for a dwarf.”

“Crunchy. Why do you have to phrase it like that?” Lup made a face. “Oooh, but have you met the RAs yet?” 

“Are you seriously already in trouble?” 

“Not without you.” Lup squeezed his hand. “But for real, one of the RA’s came by to check up and like - I don’t remember his name, Gary or Harry or one of those, but he’s like, hot.”

Taako sighed. “You are having all the luck today.” He pouted. 

Lup snorted, pushing him. “Yeah, yeah. Cheer up a little, huh?” 

“Absolutely not. I am determined to sulk for  _ at least _ a week.”

“You know that one?” Lup pointed to Magnus, who was waving to him and making his way over. Taako groaned. 

“One of my new roommates. He keeps trying to get all buddy buddy with me, which, like,  _ no thank you. _ ”

“Yuck,” Lup agreed, but she still smiled at Magnus when he jogged over. “Hey there. You must be my brother’s new roommate, he’s told me  _ all _ about you guys. He’s just thrilled to be rooming with three really cool dudes.”

Taako shot her a glare, which she chose to ignore and Magnus didn’t seem to notice. “You must be the sister. Wow! You guys look a lot alike.”

“We’re identical twins,” the answered in unison, each of them tucking a lock of hair behind their ear. Magnus laughed. 

“Oh, creepy. How long have you two been practicing that?”

“Since we were born, basically.” Taako shrugged. 

“Cool!” Magnus sat down on the grass of the quad, not seeming to mind the twins now effectively looming over him and casting him in shadow. “I know your roommates, probably. They’re pretty cool. Carey and Killian and Lucretia, right?”

“The lesbians and the art girl,” Lup confirmed. That made Magnus laugh.

“Just the lesbians, actually.”

Lup grinned. “Oh,  _ dope _ . This place might not totally suck after all.”

“It’s really nice if you can find a niche. You and your brother are totally welcome to hang with us anytime.” 

“Tight, you seem cool.” Lup held her hand out for a fistbump and Magnus eagerly complied. 

“Have you met anyone besides your roommates?”

“The RA. Human boy, brown hair, glasses? Little chubby?”

“Oh, that’s Barry. He’s a senior. Super nice dude. Weird, though.” Magnus glanced around, leaning in and lowering his voice. “He’s a necromancer.”

“This place has a  _ necromancy _ program?” Taako frowned. 

“It’s actually a specialized course. There’s only like five kids or something in it. It’s wild.”

“That actually is pretty wild.” Lup nodded, humming thoughtfully, and Taako knew right then and there that there was absolutely no question of if she was going to try and seduce this poor human man. He sighed. 

“Lup, don’t,” he instructed her sternly in Elvish, hoping to have a private conversation. 

“Don’t do what?” Magnus asked in Common. 

Lup looked delighted. “You speak Elvish?”

Magnus shrugged. “Kinda. I can understand it okay, but my accent is a little rough.”

“Ugh.” Taako rolled his eyes dramatically. “What is it with humans and knowing, like, a million billion languages each?”

“We’re a herd species. Language is kind of our thing.” 

“Weirdoes.” Lup ruffled Magnus’s hair affectionately, and he absolutely preened at the attention. Taako could puke. 

“But seriously, don’t do what?”

“Lup is definitely gonna try and seduce Barry,” Taako explained. His sister hit him. 

“Fuck you, I wasn’t even thinking about that!”

“You just said you thought he was cute!”

Lup hit him again, and Taako pushed her back, laughing. 

“Hey, don’t fight, guys.” Magnus gently separated them. “Though, frankly, if you wanted to hit on Barry? I say go for it. He’s kind of hopeless.”

“Maybe I will.” Lup stuck out her tongue. Taako sighed. 

“You are a child.”

“I’m also your best friend.” Lup checked her watch, and swore. “And I also have to go. Later, boys.” 

“Have fun, Lulu.” Taako blew her a kiss. 

“Your sister is really nice,” Magnus noted as Lup walked away.

“You think everyone is nice, don’t you, bubbeleh?”

Magnus shrugged. “I see the best in people. What’s the matter with that?”

“You’ll get screwed over, is the matter with that.” Taako stood, stretching. “Let’s just go back to the dorm.”

“Actually, I have to meet Carey. But it was nice talking to you and your sister.”

“Yeah, cool.” Taako watched Magnus go, and he was alone again. 

Fuck. 


End file.
